Chris Illuminati
Why is NBC Ignoring the Most Interesting Olympic Storyline?
NBC gets its multicolored peacock feathers kicked in the ratings week after week. Even its morning juggernaut ‘The Today Show’ has lost some shine off Matt Lauer’s forever-balding dome. (Seriously, the dude has been losing hair since the late 90’s. It’s time to go Kevorkian on those last few follicles.) The once mighty broadcasting bird is banking big money on the summer games.
Jessica Simpson Stalker Selling Self-Published Book About the Starlet
An obsessed Jessica Simpson fan has taken his love for the star to novel heights. Marce William Burchell who, after allegedly stalking Simpson for years, decided to pen and self-publish a book about the object of his affection.
The best part? The book’s insane title: ‘The True Story of Jessica Ann Simpson’s 22 month long attempt to seduce a married man- her very Active Super Secret Sex life: True
Man Sues White Castle Over Booth Size
Normally a lawsuit involving a fast food chain and a patron has something to do with the food. In the case of Martin Kessman versus White Castle the main complaint by Mr. Kessman is that the restaurant’s booths aren’t big enough. Online Dish explains how his local White Castle repeatedly broke promises to make the booths at his local franchise bigger.
Man Miraculously Walks Away After Horrific Motorcycle Crash [VIDEO]
Let this video of a motorcyclist crashing at top speed into a passing truck be a lesson to all drivers: Motorcycles are dangerous, riders should always wear a helmet and Ryan Gosling probably won’t be around to smooth things over when the two drivers meet. Despite the severity of the crash (which shatters the motorcycle in question), its rider miraculously gets up and walks it off.
Finally! ‘Twilight’ Movie Explained in 4 Seconds [VIDEO]
‘Twilight’ is loved by millions, but the rest of the world is kind of clueless about what makes it so darn appealing to the masses. Maybe some people just need a quick explanation. If only the entire movie, heck, the entire franchise could be summed up in one short video.
A Shaved Alpaca Licking a Kitten Defines Adorable [VIDEO]
It’s impossible to not find kittens super adorable. Even alpacas are impervious to their cuteness. This alpaca wants to show its affection for this little bundle of fur by nudging it around with its nose and possibly asking it out on a date.
Dad Peddled Drugs, Guns Out of Baby Stroller
Maybe quality time with the kids isn’t always a positive thing: AM NY reports that one father that not only made his infant daughter an accomplice to a drug deal but used her stroller to transport heroin and firearms.
Pot Luck! Bystanders Grab Weed Dropped By Crashed Truck
Do you know the way to San Jose? No seriously, do you, because there is free weed on the street but it’s not going to last very long.
The Mercury News explains that a truck, illegally carrying marijuana, crashed and ended up on its side sending large bags of pot throughout the intersection. The driver hightailed it out of sight and that’s when the real fun started.
Cat Against Dog in a Winner-Take-All Stare-Down [VIDEO]
It’s a classic stare-down: cat stares at dog, dog stares at cat and viewer stares at screen wondering what the heck is taking them so long. Come on fellas! Out of your respective corners and let’s get this fight going.
Cat versus dog. Who you got?
Your Annoying Childhood Friend Is Back
Annoying Childhood Friend, a new meme making the rounds today, is kind of like the ghost of friendships past. We all had a “pal” in our youth bend the rules to his advantage or sell you out when trouble arose.