Black Friday Jokes and Quotes

It's coming, it's coming, IT'S COMING!! What are you going to buy? Does anyone actually have a planned purchase?! Pfft, no, but that's entirely beside the point. A few things come to mind when thinking about the special kind of fun reserved just for this day of the year, and we've compiled a list of a few of them that sum things up nicely. Can anyone identify?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

- With what I saved, we should still come out ahead on doctor's fees

Rob Black, High Point

 

- We will go back tonight and see if we can find Mama.

Don Rankin, Greensboro

 

- I've been banned from Walmart.

Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

 

- Before I left the house I put my dentist on speed-dial.

Joan Lux, Greensboro

 

"Hi Honey, gotta love Black Friday, everything was 95% off with an additional 15% with my credit card and bonus points"

Evelyn Moore

 

- I got a Zhu Zhu!!!!

Marcia James, Jamestown

 

- That self-defense class really came in handy!

Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

 

- I had to fight off three nuns and a preacher, but I got the last “Peace on Earth” wall hanging.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

 

- They told us to take a number but we came up with our own system.

Bill Wallace, High Point

 

"I almost didn't get it but finally, the Preacher's wife tapped out."

Joel Tuggle, Archdale

 

Who needs teeth and a shoe with great bargains like this!?!

Zachary, Frazier E.

 

I did some things I'm not too proud of today.

Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

 

Hold these, I'm going back in for more.

Rob Black, High Point

 

"That was better than sex."

James E. Ferrell, McLeansville

 

“I not sure what I bought, but no one else has one.”

Tom Norman, Greensboro

 

“Haven’t you ever seen someone fighting for their economy before?”

Tom Norman, Greensboro

 

“It was like cage fighting without the cage, rules, or self respect.”

Tim Norman, Greensboro

 

"When the cashiers were ordered to 'fix bayonets' I retreated."

Gray Amick, Greensboro

 

"Snuggies For EVERYBODY!"

Bob Mannary, Greensboro

 

"Old Lady Wilson didn't even see it comin'..."

Bob Mannary, Greensboro

 

"Man, I LOVE the Christmas season!!! "

CC Cockerham, Greensboro

Find these funnies and more at news-record.com