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Dear Harlan: My Live-In Boyfriend Shuts Down, Shuts Up and Shuts Me Out

Fighting couple

Harlan Cohen is a New York Times bestselling author, nationally syndicated advice columnist, and relationship expert who has helped millions of people find happiness in love, and life.

Today Harlan gives more ‘naked’ relationship advice to a listener in need.

Dear Harlan:

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. We’ve been living together for a while now, and he has changed. At first he was affectionate and clingy, now he hardly wants to spend any time with me. He says I smother him when I barely even give him attention. Our roommates have noticed he has been cold with me. He won’t talk to me. He just shuts down on me. I don’t know what to do anymore.

– Barely Together

Dear Barely Together:

Your boyfriend says you smother him. You say you don’t. I say you’re not listening.  HE FEELS SMOTHERED!  When he tells you how he feels, you want him to feel and tell you something else. That can cause a man to shut down.  Do yourself a favor and pick up the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This book helped me understand myself and my wife so much better. It should be required reading for all couples.  Chapman’s approach will help you understand how to connect with your boyfriend in his love language and help him to understand you and your love language.  If your man is more interested in shutting you out than working things out, it’s time to move on and move out.

Harlan Cohen is coming to Wichita Falls!

Harlan Cohen, is bringing his GETTING NAKED dating and relationship live event to the Wichita Falls June 28!  He’s helped millions of people find love, make love better, or upgrade, and find someone better. Now it’s your turn! For more details click the button below!


Need some ‘naked’ advice? Submit a question for Harlan here.

(c) Harlan Cohen 2014. Distributed by King Features Syndicate Inc.

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