Two things struck me as I awoke on this baby-fresh smelling Jan. 1 morn.

The first, obviously, was a pounding headache gained from guzzling down a few Texas-sized Long Island iced teas at dinner the previous night. Every New Years Eve I resolve not to wake up quite as spectacularly hungover as the last. But like most Americans it's a goal left unachieved.

Which led me to my next realization. I had forgotten to even make any resolutions this year to break.

Why bother? A 2013 University of Scranton study found only 8% of us will follow through on that whole "new year, new me" thing. That's less than the percentage of people who actually look good while twerking.

In essence it seemed like every year I was telling myself, "Hey dude, let's be honest. You really sucked it up these past 12 months. We need a change. I mean just look at you. You managed to gain 15 pounds even though they only released the McRib twice this year. There's a stack of unread literary classics by the toilet you said you'd get to just as soon as you finished the last season of Gossip Girl on Netflix. And your wife is still waiting for all those back rubs you promised her when you forgot about Valentines Day."

In my defense, that really was a crazy busy Black History Month.

But instead of berating myself all the way up until the ball dropped once again, I finally decided enough is enough.

Forget the "new me".

In all honesty, I kind of dig the old me. Sure this version is a little less refined and flashy than the GQ coverboy I picture myself transforming into by Jan. 2 every year. But this me can still be a fixer-upper instead of a complete tear down remodel.

In 2014, let's keep it simple.

Do one nice thing for someone in your life every day for the next 12 months. Send handwritten letters to people you haven't spoken with in a while. Open that special bottle you've been saving and celebrate the specialness of every day life.

And stop twerking. Seriously. 2013 was fun but it's over, smilers.

Don't be a new you this year. Be a better you.