Because there's nothing more American than capitalizing on a sex tape and a teen pregnancy, Farrah Abraham is embarking on yet another business venture. The 'Back Door Teen Mom' star, who recently checked herself into rehab for boozing too much, is opening an alcohol-free eatery. Of donuts.

Oh.

Hollywood Life reports that Abraham is opening a donut shop for alcoholics. Okay. "The main theme and purpose of why I'm making this restaurant is really the community involvement," Abraham said, before adding with a completely straight face, "It's called DD's."

Get your head out of the gutter! There's more to Farrah than boob jobs and butt stuff.

"It's drinks and donuts, but everything is non-alcoholic and the program is for having designated drivers making good driving choices and decisions," she explained. "I personally am going through a DWI situation, having to pay a lot of fines."

She continued, "I feel like when people are going through special hardships and have so many restraints put on them, it's good to be rewarded. It's good to have free food. It's good to have all these perks when you go out and eat and a fun and great environment."

It's worth noting, also, that Abraham also endorses diet pills.

Say what you want about her I.Q., her life decisions or her ethics, but the girl knows how to cross-market.