Burkburnett Man Accused of Smuggling Slim Jim in His Pants

He was hoping to be snapping into a Slim Jim, instead, he was slapped into some handcuffs. 

36-year-old Bryan Tresenritter allegedly stole a Slim Jim at a 7-Eleven in Burkburnett. What's the average price for a Slim Jim? $2.50? Three dollars tops. Well, I guess Bryan couldn't afford it, so he decided to do the old five-finger discount. He thought the perfect place for a nice long meat stick was his pants.

The store clerk noticed it and tried to escort him to a back office until police could arrive. Tresenritter pushed her away and was able to escape. Police located him later and arrested him. He was in Wichita County Jail on a $25,000 bond.

If there was one item I would never steal in my life, it would be a Slim Jim. You're probably asking yourself, "Why?" I wouldn't want Macho Man judging me from heaven. He used to come through the wall like the Kool-Aid man, telling me to snap into one. I would just imagine Macho Man atomic dropping my nuts if I ever stole a Slim Jim.

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