Need A New Hobby For Your 7 Year Old Daughter? How About Pole Dancing?
Sometimes, just so I can absolutely BLOW A GASKET I watch “Toddlers and Tiaras” and then a healthy dose of “Dance Moms“. I have thought, for the longest time, I might add, that these shows represented the height of bad parenting. But alas, I was wrong. If little Lisa has some extra time in her busy schedule this week, may I suggest pole dancing! And no, I am not making this up.
Surely, even in today’s day and age, no one, anywhere, at any time would set up a stripper… ahem, I mean “Pole Dancer” class for girls as young as toddlers. Never happen, couldn’t happen, and, even if they did, now one would sign their kid up.
Ooops, I was so very wrong.
Apparently, the class is called “Little Spinners” and is offered at Make Me Fabulous a studio that teaches strictly pole dancing. According to the site, having your daughter hit the pole will help them “use their bodies, move, balance and be free.” Plus, it’s a GREAT way for them to put themselves through college, right? Never mind that make Me Fabulous no longer lists the kid’s class on their schedule, this doesn’t happen anywhere else does it, so we’re in the clear?
Head to Scotland, where the fine folks at “Up Yer Pole” have begun offering “under-16 classes for youngsters — with even primary schoolkids allowed to take part.” Here’s the best part, though, the class only costs $5 Scotland Dollars per session, and at that price, your young’un will make the money back from neighbors, friends and perverted relatives in NO TIME! Pammy Cameron, instructor, thinks critics are stupid. She says, “These are gymnastic classes, although we will be using a pole.” Of course! There are lots of situations where pole dancing occurs without dudes stuffing bills into G-strings and asking for lap dances afterward. I am at a loss to think of any right now, however.
By the way, Sarah Burge, pictured above is one of the Moms who wants to pass on the wisdom of the pole to her little daughter, Poppy, also pictured. After reading the article in The Sun, I am leaning more and more towards forced sterilization. Sarah rationalizes the pole like this:”It’s a great bonding experience for us to play on the pole together. We spend hours trying out poses and positions and dancing to our favourite music. Poppy wants to be like pop star Miley Cyrus, who also dances on a pole. There is no harm in a child having dreams. I’d rather her be healthy and ambitious than sitting in front of the TV all day getting fat like most children.” ” Damn Bill Ray Cyrus, first he made us listen to “Achy Breaky Heart“, then he let’s Miley dance on poles! What’s the world coming to?
Just a heads up, don’t think this is only happening overseas, those crazy Canadians are into the fad too. Which means that it’s literally knocking on the doors of the US now. Tammy Morris, owner of Tantra Fitness, says, “I just had a baby six months ago and I’m hoping she’ll start to learn pole dancing as soon as she can.” *Sniff**Sniff*, I smell a reality show coming to Lifetime SOON!