Here's just a little insight into my thoughts on the 53rd Grammy Awards as it happens.

Why does Christina Aguilera a) need to have her boobs to her chin, b) a god-awful red lip mic stand and c) the ability to remember the words to THIS song but not...well you know.

Jennifer Hudson killed RESPECT!!  You go girl!

Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group Winner: Train "Hey Soul Sister".  Thanks to Bieber for not being a Duo or Group : ) Funny, Pat!

WTF!!  Ricky Martin what are you thinking?!  Pants, nacho good!

Lady Gaga performance: Not sure why she has pointy shoulders.  Loving "Born This Way"!  Performance wasn't as shocking as typical which was a little disappointing but the dance moves were pretty cool.

Miranda Lambert performance: Heels are great!  Every time I see Miranda, I want to put her in an appropriate dress.  This dress wasn't that bad but she needed some Spanx.  I DO appreciate that you can tell she's a I-am-who-I-am kind of girl.  She's so classy to thank all the artists that paved the way.

Lenny Kravitz: what the crap was that vest, jacket thingie?

Muse performance:  why wasn't Uprising nominated? SUCH a great song!

New Artists performance: B.o.B.'s bringin' the Monocle back!  Not sure if I like the black & white retro effect, but I def don't like the 50's version of Grenade. Cheesey, Bruno. Why Janelle threw herself front-first into the crowd, I don't know, but seeing her trying to get back on stage in time was pretty high-larious!

Best Female Country Performance Winner: Miranda Lambert.  Yay!

Justin Bieber, Jaden Smith & Usher performance: I have nothing creative or nice to say about the Romper Room portion.  Usher's dance moves are amazing!  But those pants with the extra room in the crotch are a little distracting.

Best Rock Album Winner: Muse "The Resistance". They won over Pearl Jam, Tom Petty, Neil Young & some guy named Jeff Beck--so not surprising but I'm glad they won. Esp so we could hear the most awkward acceptance speech ever.

Commercial break: Target's putting out some great commercials!

Best Pop Vocal Album Winner: Lady Gaga "The Fame Monster".  Now she has a spikey forehead and has changed outfits which accentuates her lady parts and boo-hiney.

What the crap is this David Letterman's Top 10 Grammy Surprises?!

Mumford & Sons, The Avett Brothers, Bob Dylan performance: OMG!  I'll have to do some research on Mumford & Avett!  Love their sound!  I appreciate the intense rockin' out by a banjo and accordion.  But poor Bob Dylan!  I guess we'll be seeing a tribute video from his next year.

Lady Antebellum performance: nice. but snoozeville.

Miley Cyrus: horrible dress!

Best Country Albm Winner: Lady Antebellum "Need You Now".

Cee Lo Green, Gwyneth Paltrow & the Muppets performance: Most. Bizzare. Performance. Ever. I don't even wanna know why Cee Lo was wearing a chainmail hat and big bird costume. Gwyneth did good and looked so normal it was boring compared to all those crazy Muppet outfits.

Well thank god we came back to Normal Town with Katy Perry's performance!!  Loved seeing the home video of her wedding!

Keith Urban, Norah Jones and Johnny Depp, I mean John Mayer's, performance of Jolene in honor of Dolly Parton was great.

Song of the Year Winner: Lady Antebellum "Need You Now".

Eminem, Rihanna, Dr Dre performance: man, Em is SUCH a passionate performer!  pretty darn good performance!

Best New Artist Winner: Esperanza Spalding!  Holy moly she beat out the Beiber?!  Upset of the year!

In Memorium & tribute to Solomon Burke, Mick Jagger's performance: a great example of how little a man can get after years of drugs. His shoes looked really comfy!  It was great to see a real musical icon on performing at the Grammy's for the first time.

(I think Bab's performed in here somewhere. I got bored)

Best Rap Album Winner: Eminem "Recovery".

Drake & Rihanna performance: pretty hot.  Flamage & grindage!

Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony's Record of the Year intro was just awkward.  I guess someone thought it'd be cute for JLo to cut her hubby off & make him seem lame.  Poor Marc!

Record of the Year Winner: Lady Antebellum "Need You Now".

Arcade Fire performance: Holy squealing, seizure-inducing craptastic show!  It's all fun & games till a cyclist falls off the stage!

Album of the Year Winner: Arcade Fire "The Suburbs". Are you freaking kidding me?!

I'm going to bed.