Top 10 Most Unsexy “Sexy” Costumes
Every college girl knows that iconic scene Tina Fey's 'Mean Girls' where a young (and sober) Lindsay Lohan breaks down the rules of Halloween in girl world. "Halloween is the one day a year where girls can dress slutty and no one can say anything about it" While this adage may be true, costumes that mix creepy, scary and slutty are a recipe for disaster. Here are the ten worst sexy Halloween costumes of the 2011 season and why you shouldn't wear them.
- 10
Fruit
It can be sexy when eaten right but becoming your favorite fruity treat just makes you look like you have seeds for brains. I'm going to say opt out of the watermelon because it's hideous and the banana peel because do you really want a guy to think about a banana when he thinks about you?
- 9
Child Characters
When we were young little Orphan Annie and Big bird would have made great costumes, but now any adult who chooses these disturbingly sexy outfits (check out the hooker shoes on Big Bird) might have a sign on their yard if they move in next to you! I don't know what's creepier, a grown women imitating little kids or the men who find it "sexy"?
- 8
Sexy Appliance
The sheer laziness of getting "inspired" by household items makes this costume a failure. Maybe I don't get it, but I'm pretty sure no one ever stared at their toaster and thought "hmmm ya know what would look great with that... stripper heels."
- 7
Recently Deceased
Sexy Micheal Jackson costumes should be considered blasphemy.I know there will be creepy Amy Winehouse's and Turtlenecked - yet still naked - Steve Jobs costumes will be out there this year.
- 6
Mrs. Potato Head
This gets its own category for the sheer horror of any woman wanting her body to be compared to a potato, even if it is a happy potato with a cute purse.
- 5
Board Games
Nothing says " Hey grope me" more than turning your body into a game board. Aside from the weird adult/child look, most of these just have strategically placed game peices to get people looking. I think if you must play a sexy game of twister, then it should be saved for the bedroom not the dance floor - and definitely not the office Halloween party.
- 4
Sexy Fish
Mermaids have long been a sexy Halloween staple, but in recent years the characters of Disney's "Finding Nemo" have become popular choices for party goers. While the creep factor of adults in Disney costumes is very high, there's also something really fishy about trying to make fish sexy.
- 3
Sexy Clown
Maybe I'm biased because I'm a 90's baby and grew up with Steven Kings "It" or maybe clowns really are terrifying, either way they are not funny and they are definitely not sexy either.
- 2
Sexy Murderer
From Chuckie to Freddy and even Jason and Dracula, some marketers have decided that in order for women to wear these Horror Icons they have to be half naked. Some genius decided that if you slap a dress on a famous villain it's both sexy and scary. I have to disagree and I think most men will too.
- 1
Anything that draws attention to your junk
Strategically placed colors and additions don't make you look funny they make you look like a perv and nobody likes a perv - and this costume is the ''perviest''. Wear this and be prepared to be the only one charming your snake Halloween night.