This Thanksgiving, let's all give thanks to online crafts, clothes and curios store Etsy.com. For without them, we'd be deprived of the following 10 items of pure holiday kitsch.

  • 1

    Pumpkin Pie Soap

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    These pumpkin pie-shaped hand soaps are certainly pretty and definitely tempting to look at. In other words, it's a 50/50 shot that someone's spending Thanksgiving in the ER with a child who's just ingested a good helping of glycerin and shea butter.

    Soapkitchen, Etsy
  • 2

    Pilgrim Ken Thanksgiving Cards

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    Guess who's spending Turkey Day at the Barbie Dream House? Pilgrim Ken, that's who! He'll cruise over in his convertible, make a few inappropriate comments about Barbie's “breast meat,” then sprawl across her couch to watch football with one hand shoved down his anatomically irrelevant crotch. (Kitchen-slave Barbie sold separately.)

    KarenHoglund, Etsy
  • 3

    Chalkware pumpkinhead figurine

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    Behold, the Liza Minnelli of Thanksgiving-themed pumpkin figurines.

    theredmouse, Etsy
  • 4

    Turkey Day Diaper Cover

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    Um, how to put this delicately… the big, brown bird design makes it look like the poor baby made to wear these 'Little House on the Prairie' bottoms already had a little accident.

    Designsbysusan1, Etsy
  • 5

    Turkey Head for Pineapple

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    For the Don Ho Thanksgiving Luau party planner in all of us, there's this stuffed turkey head that you can pin to the bottom of a pineapple. And then spend the rest of the night explaining to your guests that no, it's not a peacock, and no, you're not a recently escaped mental patient.

    MarshaMade, Etsy
  • 6

    Black Pumpkin Thanksgiving Centerpiece

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    Studio 54 Thanksgiving centerpiece? African headdress Thanksgiving centerpiece? Vegas showgirl Thanksgiving centerpiece? Bowling ball for jazz-hands enthusiasts? Answer: All of the above.

    tinaschooler, Etsy
  • 7

    Thanksgiving Finger Puppets

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    “Gather 'round, little ones! It's time for your favorite Thanksgiving tale: 'The Case of the Faceless Pilgrims.' Wait, stop crying! They're just fingers with felt hats. Great. This cute Etsy gift just cost me years of therapy bills.”

    bizzyboos, Etsy
  • 8

    Turkey Drumstick Rice Krispie Treats

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    Our first reaction: Ewww. Second reaction: Actually, those probably taste all right. Third reaction: Anyone else suddenly feel like having breakfast?

    JessiesTrails, Etsy