Picture this: It's Tuesday night, you've had a rough day at work, you go to the kitchen and see your girlfriend reluctantly washing up some dishes in the sink.  You think to yourself, "Self, I think a nice playful butt slap will be just the thing to cheer us both up, right?" WRONG!

It turns out that if you are Michael Martinez and your girlfriend is Tiffany Sherry - with a badly sunburned butt, mind you - that playful slap will get you stabbed - three times!

The stabbing went down in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania on Tuesday night (8/7)  and according to the police report, Martinez told the cops that he "was aware Sherry had a sunburn in that area" and that the butt slap was meant as a joke. Well, Sherry wasn't laughing and "became immediately aggitated."

Martinez says that Sherry turned around holding a large steak knife and chased him into the living room with it. Martinez said, "What are you going to do, stab me in front of your children?”

Sherry then told her two children to leave the room and then allegedly "poked" Martinez in the stomach with the knife then stabbed him in the shoulder.  Sherry yelled, "I'm going to F---ing kill you," then stabbed him a third time as he fled.

Martinez called police from a neighbors home and was later found bleeding from a stomach wound and "two distinct cuts to the front and rear of his right shoulder area." He was taken to the hospital for treatment, and Sherry was arrested and is facing several charges and was being held at Northhampton County Prison after failing to post $25,000 bail.

Believe it or not, this isn't the first time Tiffany has used silverware to assault someone.  In 2008 she stabbed a man with a fork during an argument.  Will Somebody please keep the cutlery away from this woman?

[the smoking gun]