Some laws are in place to protect us, some to govern certain behaviors and some are well, just plain dumb.  The good ole’ boys (and girls) of Texas have managed to sneak a few stupid laws into the books over the years, and it’s a good thing too because without these laws all hell just might break loose! Now, it’s obvious that some of these dumb laws are just really old and irrelevant to our society today, but they are still technically enforceable; making them rather stupid for our day and age.

Here’s your tax dollars at work Texas.

Dumb Texas State Laws


  • One must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office.

  • The Bluebonnet is the official song of the state flower.

  • It is illegal to sell one’s eye.

  • When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.

  • It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

  • Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six female pleasure devices (rhymes with bill-bow).

  • It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

  • It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.

  • A recently passed anti-crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

  • Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense.

  • The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

  • A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.

  • You can be legally married by publicly introducing a person as your husband or wife 3 times.

  • It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don’t need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.

Dumb Texas City Laws

  • It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.

  • Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.

  • Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University.

  • It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind.

  • It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.

  • It’s illegal to possess realistic pleasure devices (rhymes with bill-bow) .

El Paso
  • Urinating on the streets is illegal.
  • Appearing in public places wearing a “lewd dress” is prohibited.
  • Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons “of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them.

  • It is illegal to drive a motor car down Broadway before noon on Sundays.
  • Offensive gestures will not be tolerated at any special event.
  • Bicycles must be operated at a “reasonable speed”.
  • One needs permission from the director of parks and recreation before getting drunk in any city park.
  • No person shall throw trash from an airplane.
  • Landing an airplane on the beach is illegal.
  • No person shall inhale fumes from model glue.
  • Any person who sits on a sidewalk may be fined up to $500.

Harker Heights
  • No person may disturb a church service by swearing.
  • Drivers of city vehicles must respect all traffic rules just like the rest of us.

  • It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.
  • Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday.

  • Dogs must be on a leash at ALL times.

  • It is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer while standing.

Lubbock County
  • It is illegal to drive within an arm’s length of alcohol – including alcohol in someone else’s blood stream.

  • It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.

Port Arthur
  • Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator.

  • It is illegal to do “U Turns”.
  • It is now illegal to place a “for sale” sign on a car if it visible from the street.

San Antonio
  • It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.
  • It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.

  • Cattle thieves may be hanged on the spot.
  • You can ride your horse in the saloon
  • No one may ride a horse and buggy through the town square.

  • Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights.


Now you’ve got to have a favorite, tell us which one in the comments below!


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