Apparently, I've been living my entire life as a Texan totally wrong, and I'm a little embarrassed if I'm being honest with myself.

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A TikTok user has gone viral for a video that claims to chronicle his daily life as a Texan. Obviously, it's a parody, but I'm wondering if maybe there might be something to this lifestyle. How hard would it be to actually perform the 8 steps he lists in the video below? I've ranked them in order from easiest to hardest.

Make sure the stars at night are big and bright

The final act he performs before heading to bed is also the easiest.  Literally just looking out the window at the stars.

Gargling a shot of p*ss warm Lone Star beer

His first task of the day is the second easiest, and I like that.  Bookend the day with easy tasks. Gargling a shot of beer, you don't even have to swallow it? Psh, child's play.

Remember the Alamo

Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.  The only reason this one doesn't rank easier is that I don't actually remember that much about the Alamo.  I remember that movie from the '60s starring John Wayne as Davie Crockett, but that's about it.  Did you know John Wayne directed that movie as well?

Pledging allegiance to HEB, Blue Bell, Whataburger, and Buccees

Hump yeah I pledge allegiance.  To the first three.  This is going to be an unpopular opinion, but Buccees is overrated due to the sheer amount of people who will be in the store at any given moment.  It's just too busy, I'm not a fan of big crowds.  QuickTrip is where it's at for me.  It's like a mini Buccees.

Change from PJs to work wear

This one is easy, but the gag in the video is he changes from boots and a cowboy hat into a different pair of boots and a cowboy hat.  That would be hard for me, I'm not that type of cowboy.  I'm a camouflage Kubota baseball cap kind of cowboy.

Jacking up my pickup truck a few more inches

Jack my truck up several inches daily? No way Jose`. I like a nice, couple-inch factory lift.  Anything over that and the ladies start assuming you're packing a small package.

4 hours practicing my yeehaw

Sir, I have a job, I have to make a living and pay the bills.  I'm assuming practicing your Yeehaw is your job, possibly training for the Yeehaw Olympics.

Drink 12 gallons of sweet tea

This one is just downright absurd. Who could even do that?  If it was 12 gallons of Dr. Pepper, that would be different.

How many of these could you do?  Check out the video below and give it some thought.




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