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What’s It Worth To Stay Cool?

(Photo by Tim Boyle/Getty Images)

It’s not the highest electric bill we’ve ever seen, but it’s close.  I opened the envelope yesterday to discover an electric bill over $300.  The temp in the house at that moment was 76 degrees.  My wife is constantly telling us to turn off the lights.  We do.  We try do the laundry in full loads only.  But that thermostat is NOT moving.  It’s tough enough to get comfortable at night when the temp outside is still above 90 degrees at 2 am.  Several years ago I found an old Texas Electric bill that belonged to my grandmother.  The bill was $31…in July!  My poor, old grandma probably had a heart attack over that $31 bill.  But that was the 1970′s.  She’d fall out over the price of comfort today.  Ah, I can still hear the roar of that good ‘ol Fedder’s air conditioner in her living room window.  Imagine what it was like for the frontiersmen coming to this area 150 years ago.  It was just as hot (no matter what Al Gore and the enviro-nazi’s would have you believe) and there was no air conditioning.  But they were a different breed than us.  They were tough, conditioned, resilient.  We’re soft, lazy and weak as a wet noodle when it comes to our a/c.  Mine bombed out earlier in the season.  I didn’t even blink over that $350 check I had to write to get it running again.  I cried for a couple of days, but never blinked.  I’m fat and I like it cool inside.  Sweating outdoors is one thing.  You expect that.  But if I’m setting on my couch and sweating, well, Houston, we have a problem.  But fear not, soon fall and winter will arrive, probably at the same time.  Then, we’ll all sit around and dream of summer once again!

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