How Hot Is It?

This is the hottest summer in 30 years for Texoma.  I have been collecting phrases about how hot it is for the last month or so.  Here are some of my favorites.  If you know a better one, feel free to add it!

Trees are whistling for dogs.

You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

You can say 113 degrees without fainting.

It's so hot, I can roast marshmallows on my belly

You eat hot peppers to cool your mouth off.

You can make instant sun tea.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

When the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.

You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot

water in the toilet bowl.

You discover that it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of

distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked

out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

A sad Texan prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much

for me, cuz I've seen it -- but for my 7-year-old."