51-year-old Alison Whelan of Devon, England was in court this week for an incident that happened last September.  Alison was on a two-day drinking bender, and high on hallucinogenic drugs. Alison and a friend were looking for a place to crash.

They stumbled down toward a river and Alison decided to steal a boat.  As she tried to unhook it from the dock, the cops arrived.  Which is when Alison uncorked one of the best real-life criminal catchphrases possible. She yelled at the cops, "I'M JACK SPARROW!"  Then she tried to drive off in the boat.

Alison only floated a short distance before the police stopped the boat. This week she was sentenced to four months in prison for aggravated vehicle theft. Honestly Captain Jack would probably be proud. Stealing a boat while drunk definitely sounds like something Captain Jack would do.