How to Lose a Texas Guy in 10 Ways
I want to preface this by saying, this story originally started out much different. It was meant to be titled “10 Things Women Do That Drive Men Crazy.” Then, the unthinkable happened. I went through a breakup. (Guess it should have been titled “11 Things Women Do That Drive Men Crazy.)
If you’re like D-J Khaled and all you do is win, this article is not for you. We’re talking about losing and more specifically 10 ways to lose a Texas guy. Something I have far more experience with.
Make sure the man in question is an ex. Yes, ladies. Wash, rinse and repeat. Why give that seemingly charismatic, well-put-together guy from the office a chance when you can go BIG? It’s not how you finish, it’s how you start so make sure the canvas isn't blank. The more baggage, history, and toxicity the better.
2. Be Human
So you can’t work full time and rush home to make dinner with a lipstick perfect smile. So you have a messy bathroom vanity with every brand of hairspray, finishing spray and eye cream. Do you dry your clean clothes again because who owns an iron? I’m talking to you too, girlfriend. Oops! You’re doing it again. You’re showing how human you are. This is one sure way to lose that Texas guy because we should all be vacuuming in high heels, right?
3. Share Anything Meaningful
You heard a great new song that really spoke to your soul. You have a long-term dream you want to include him in. There’s a program that resonates with you and you want to get his feedback. If you want to lose him, share and bare it all. Bare all of your childhood fears and work frustrations. If you want to lose him quicker, listen closely, share your feelings.
4. Ask Questions
He’s come home late for a month full of Fridays and each time he tells you the boss called a late meeting. You know his office closed six hours ago and he’s stumbling with a pungent beer-scented-cologne. If your destination is single, party of one, ask all the reasonable questions your heart desires.
5. Be Self-Sufficient Susie
Clean up on aisle 5. We have a broken ego that needs to be cleaned up. He claims he wants woman willing to support herself but when the rubber meets the pavement, he wants to be needed. There's not enough room for your independence and his need to dominate. If you’re not only wanting to lose him but also make him really salty, just do-it-yourself.
6. Expect Romance
See, there you are dreaming up ideas of how he’ll woo you and he’s over there investigating what’s growing under his fingernail. The best you’ll get from a Texas guy is a courtesy flush if he’s in a good mood.
I’ll use small words for the opposing readers. Communication is when two adults form words with their mouths and create sound waves. It’s quite miraculous.Any adult past the age of 18 communicates important life issues, like bills, events and big decisions with their partner. If you entered your relationship expecting simple communication from your Texas guy, you're sadly mistaken.
8. Challenge Him
He doesn’t want to be a better version of himself. Even if he says he does, it’s all hypothetical. The only upgrades in your near future are at the apple store. Challenge him to think bigger, grow or improve and you’re going home with an “L.”
9. Don’t Indulge His Every Whim
He’s started four “start-up” businesses in the last six months, one of which was a traveling circus. He splurged his entire paycheck on a flat screen for the garage but forgot your birthday last week. He’s a busy body and if you want to lose him, stop indulging his childish endeavors.
10. Promises, Promises
We all make mistakes. The inevitable "I'm sorry" will ensue. It's to be expected. However, when those broken promises and disappointments become regular and the "I'm sorry" becomes the norm, it's time to make a believer out of your Texas guy, right? Wrong. Showing any kind of healthy boundary or self-respect will push him away faster than you can say, "Buster."
These are only 10 ways to lose that Lone Star Boo. The ego must be nurtured, keep your expectations low and evidence of self-preservation is not acceptable. These may be 10 ways to lose him but maybe some losses are a win in disguise. Like "losing" the flu or losing 10 lbs. Let's all share a victory dance for the ladies that lose.
BONUS: Texas Groom Nearly Falls Down When He Sees His Bride